The cost of the sins of the entire thing will never equal up to the price Jesus Christ paid. Sin will never be an infinite force, though Jesus literally gave up His life in payment – a life that was never required to end. His sacrifice blows the cost of sin away. It is as though sin is nothing at all in comparison to Him. The price He paid for us – it is impossible to equal it. This is why He is the LORD, and Master of those who accept His sacrifice.

The victim souls suffer because of others sins, not because there was anything lacking in the Passion of the LORD, but rather because they are active participants in Christ’s suffering and glory. The Bride should be made one with the Bridegroom, and they should share everything.

I said: “You decide Lord. This suffering ends the moment that you decide and not one second sooner. You’d better carry me though. Carry me, Lord.”

“The more sorrow of a soul, the greater its right to God’s mercy.”

Bless the Lord, the Highest Name. Name above all Names. Bless His enduring love and mercy. Bless the Lord.

I’ve had (unless my thoughts and experiences deceive me) the experience of becoming or being (I’m not sure the exact word) a part of Christ in heaven. Like I was made aware that I am in His body and I was awakened to it. These moments are brief, but they seem unmistakable. This, even where He is in heaven. For the longest time, I thought this wasn’t allowed, or it was forbidden. I’ve also felt the presence of the Holy Spirit and Jesus in me at times.

People can think I’m smart, think I am dumb. That I am sane or crazy. Think I am good or bad. It makes no difference to me. Self-glory is worth nothing – glory is worth nothing except in Jesus. His Name is the only name.

I am not after the reward of heaven. It makes no difference to me whether I am in hell, the earth or anywhere else. I am after the reward of Jesus Christ. He is everything to me.

Even the most holy Saints had their moments of doubt. Their moments of sins. Their moments of saying “I can’t do this Jesus.” Those moments actually bring us closer to Jesus in a strange way, because they teach us to rely only on Him, not on ourselves.

The most obvious sign to us that we love God is that we keep turning back to Him, despite the fact that we fall away again and again. So in this way, our failures are turned into blessings.

The moment in your life where you go “You decide Lord” is the moment you can be sure God is fighting for you. You can claim victory over any battle in this way.

The kind of faith that has true power is the kind of faith that says “Your will be done Lord, not mine.” That is truly the kind of faith that changes things – changes people. You don’t have to do this in world changing ways for God to fight for you.

Heavenly Father, thank you for renewing my spirit within me today. Thank you for this beautiful day that belongs to you. Glory be to you. Hugs and kisses, even though I am not worthy of your blessings. You desire to bless all, the less deserving sometimes, the more you pour out your graces. You lift the lowly up to you. I know because I am lowly myself and misery itself, yet you lift my heart to yours. My spirit rejoices in your goodness, it is an immeasurable joy. The joy of the Lord wrestles my sadness and it will not fail. The joy of the Lord is ever present. Bless your name.

Even if you turn to the Lord in anger, with intent to wound, it can be preferable to never turning to Him at all. At least then the one who can save you is on your mind. Make no mistake, the Lord delivers such as those as well. Calling on the name of the Lord in anger, is much better than never calling on Him at all.

The stumbling block is thinking you need to change yourself. You don’t. You don’t need to change yourself, you need to surrender to the God who can change you. The key is not a demand or a request, it is simply surrender.

It isn’t just “Bad things happen, and God cares,” sometimes it is “bad things happen because God cares.” He is the Lord who sends us into both green pastures and also terrible storms.

We shouldn’t ask for the easiest path, we should ask for the path that leads to Jesus. Even if it were possible to fail or fall over on that path of exhaustion, at least then you are closer to Him.

Jesus came so that those who were far from God would be made close to Him. He didn’t come to save the righteous, but to save sinners.

To be brutally honest, I said to myself: “Sometimes I desire the suffering to end more than I desire Jesus.” Meaning he isn’t always the first thing on my mind. I said “How can I accept this gracefully unless the Lord grants me the grace to accept it that way?” All graces come from Him. And then I said, “If I am seeing this through to the end, then maybe it is better if He doesn’t grant me that grace for the season.” Because doing so would only increase the severity. The waiting in the suffering, and also the lack of a desire to suffer, increase the sufferings even more and make it more effective. Eventually it feels like the smallest suffering is intense. It is a strange thing that the soul can bear more, yet you are weaker and more susceptible to sufferings – like you are growing stronger and weaker at the same time. How does it make sense that you can bear more but are weaker? It is a strange experience.

If love led to hell, I would follow it, because I can be certain that God is on that road. Wherever there is pure love, there is Jesus. Jesus was led to hell by love too – His love for us.

I said “If it is impossible for me to be with God, then either me or God is going to have to figure out how to do the impossible. Because not being with Him is impossible for me.” I can do all things through Christ, but this thing I cannot do.

Can you say: “I am a blasphemer. I am an addict. I am a thief. I have hated my brothers and sisters. I am as good as a murderer. I am the worst of the worst. And yet God’s grace rests on me. He will save me. I have faith.” Even if you are all of those things, God will still use you. He saw the worst parts of your life before He even called you into being, and yet you were still called.

He is not a man to love only conditionally. He didn’t sacrifice His Son for the salvation of the world only conditionally. Some escape into life eternal and some escape as though through the flames.

You can’t always be certain where Jesus is, or in what way He is working there. I have truly found one way to know for certain. If selfless and pure love is present, then you can be certain He is there. Every selfless deed of charity done is done in the Name of the Lord. Love shows no favoritism. It is considerate of everyone.

When we love our enemies, we please God, and then He makes even our enemies be at peace with us. “When a man’s ways please the Lord….”

I was saying that while, yes… the Lord may be angry at the world. He may be angry enough to dwarf us in comparison, where to come to know it would be terrifying. But I personally believe that the Lord is so great and His love so great, that it is as though His wrath is as nothing at all to Him in comparison. What is a finite wrath to the infinite God? And the Lord doesn’t stay angry forever. He afflicts, but then He heals. He breaks, but He binds up. His infinite ocean of love uses His wrath to work good, I think.

Last night, in my sleep I had the sensation of being crucified. There was sharp pains in my hands and feet. I am thankful for this blessing, though I am glad the Lord let me be asleep for it because it hurt badly.

I don’t know if angels attended to me, or if it is for some other reason, but I feel much better now. Interior light has returned, and it feels much greater than previously. I was losing my mind in death for I don’t know how long – days at least. I was so uncontrollably angry. But now I feel better. I smelled like death too this morning and last night – not from a lack of cleanliness either. I never want to feel that way again.

A long time ago I had the dream of being scourged and felt a little of the pain – if I am remembering right. This also was a great blessing, though my recollection isn’t the best. This was before I had come to the degree of understanding why.

I have had several dreams that I felt pain in, including the incredibly painful ones of my teeth all being ripped out and my whole body being on fire – the latter was intense. I forgot about that and pay it no attention when I am thinking about pains I have felt, since I was asleep when I felt it. That might’ve been the most severe pain I have ever felt, though it was only for about five seconds.