There are times when my courage is almost inhuman, and other times when I fear the smallest things. One thing we should never accuse another of is cowardice – that comes from ignorance of a person and their experiences. When we call someone a coward we are telling them that we are not even trying to understand them but desire to judge them, and we are telling them we don’t care.

In admission, I attacked God this morning. In fact, by some strange occurrences I have been attacking Him a lot lately. I repented and asked for forgiveness. I have confidence He still loves me and isn’t angry at me. I am not expected to be perfect – I am, however, expected to repent.

I have been suffering numerous trails from every direction lately. It has been hard to keep my mind open to the willfulness of suffering in union with Christ.

Even if I fall away from Him for hours or days, I will always come back. I have nowhere else to go, and I don’t desire to turn to anyone else.

I am going to start filling with love the places in me that suffer. Then I will be able to endure with strength, and suffering will only lift me higher.

It makes no difference when he comes back. He is not going to suddenly change into someone or something else. He has always been the same and always will be. Though the God of mercy is also the God of Justice, just as the God of the living is also the God of the dead. There is only one God over everything in my eyes. He died so He could also be the God of the dead – though has always been. And He lived so that He could be the God of the living, though He has always been alive.

I don’t care what happens to me. I love Jesus with my entire being. I will start getting better at realizing times of suffering let me show Him I love Him and will endure for Him. Bless your Holy Name. Think of the pain Jesus felt on the cross, and then this pain will seem like nothing at all.

I told Jesus please accept these tears in reparations for my sins today, and this made me feel a little bit better. Though what I was really crying about was not having prayed my prayers yesterday.

The simple act of reading His Word in the Bible, and accepting them, is in itself the taking part in communion.  Just as the simple act of willful prayer to Him is the same thing. These actions have the same power as receiving the bread of His body and wine of His blood.

Charity – the giving of things away in love – is a great virtue. Even if it is something absolutely essential – something you care about a great deal – then that makes the act of giving it up willingly for them even more significant. It shows that you love them more than you love what you are giving up for them.

I have confidence that the Lord heard my prayer. I prayed that either someone would strengthen my friend who was suffering or that God would take some strength away from me to give him. Then I remembered strength leaving my arms yesterday, where they oddly felt weak, zapped of power. I have confidence it will be given to him tonight. The Lord started answering my prayer yesterday that I only made tonight. I actually have confidence He did both.

I gladly sacrifice all titles, authority, ownership, power, and everything else to and for Christ. What is a title without God, or authority apart from Him. Every power eventually fails without Him.

God is making me feel mighty guilty. He is heaping burning coals on my head, yet I thank Him for it. It is a blessing and a great grace to be treated in ways you don’t deserve. In fact, when it comes from God, you are filled with holy amazement. Though it is also saddening, yet you are amazed. It is almost too awesome to feel sad about sometimes. I guess that is a sign that God’s goodness is greater than our misery.

As I was praying the Rosary through a video, I looked at the priest praying and I sensed the authority of Christ in the priest. I sensed it interiorly and exteriorly. It really is true that priests have the power and authority of Christ in them.

I was considering the manner in which Christ carried the cross and all the terrors of those hours, and I was thinking “God has to have been through some stuff to be able to take that without complaints.” And then I was worried about Him, yet I do still have confidence He is alright.

I was afraid for God in a moment too, like where He said He is a consuming fire. I was just needlessly worrying about Him I think. It is the worst part about the mystery surrounding God – not being unsure about whether He is there or not, but not knowing if He is alright or not. Though I am sure He is.

When there is no other way, faith is the way. When there seems to be no way at all, faith is the way still.

Relying on power or our limitations meets many dead end paths, but someone who walks by faith in Christ will find they can walk otherwise impossible paths.

Just like love is its own reward, faith is also its own reward. Though both faith and love bring with them many other great graces. I guess it is more accurate to say that goodness is it’s own reward. Goodness in our hearts will multiply and reap a harvest.

Faith isn’t just about making things happen by trusting God. A lot of times, it is about trusting in Him even when the mountains don’t move. Jesus said “if it be possible, take this cup from me,” but he also said “Your will be done, not mine.” He affirmed He would have faith, even if the mountain of His suffering didn’t move.

I believe the flaming arrows of the evil one are lies, fear, confusion, misery, discord, anxiety and the like. These require the shield of faith to stop them from harming you.

Sometimes the flaming arrows of the enemy are also a poisonous bite wrapped in a kiss. Bribery, flattery, enticing temptations, deceptive rewards and others.

Denial of self accomplishes nothing without the Spirit of Grace resting in you. Therefore, the narrow road isn’t just about denial of self, it is about acceptance of Jesus Christ. His Way is the Way.

Praying for the dying or recently dead is very important. Many are caught up to heaven who would’ve went to purgatory because of the prayers of the faithful and especially their faithful loved ones.

If people knew how powerful prayer was, especially when we pray together, more people would do it more often. Prayers from one side of the world can affect things on the other side of the world – a lot of times in secret ways. God pours out His graces when His people call on His Name.

I was in terrible pain from a suspected infection and I asked my grandma and sister to pray for me. The next day the pain was gone.

While God offers His consolations to those close to His heart, you aren’t supposed to fall in love with them. Fall in love with God for who He is not what He can do for you. God wants to know that you will love Him even in the darkness.

Persistence…. I say again, persistence is key in prayer life.

Today was the first day without any struggles “for the most part” in almost a month. I remember saying that I was headed into a season of trials, and lately it has been one after the other. I doubted my ability to bear it and continue bearing it faithfully. Yet, though for a moment I wanted to turn away and it took me a day to return to the foot of the cross, I have said I would always come back. My hope is there.

What is life without hope? There is always hope until you give up for good. There is always hope, even if you have been seemingly hopeless for ages, if you search it out at the foot of the cross.

How many times can you fall before God gives up on you? He will never give up on you no matter how many times you fall, or even if you fall through. He is a God of great mercy and compassion. He loves all He has called into being. He loves His own.

Do NOT give the Lord any rest until He delivers you up to Himself. Let Him not slumber. Day and night inquire Him of your salvation – of which you are waiting for.

Victim souls unite their sufferings to the Passion of Christ.

You’re not defeated if you haven’t given up. Victory is always assured in Christ, so someone who hopes and has faith in Christ never has any real cause to give up.

Victim souls pay for their own sins through Christ while in the living purgatory, and also potentially the sins of many others, in union with Christ’s passion. They appease the wrath of the LORD against many sins. Someone told me it was as if (figuratively) they didn’t crucify Christ but instead were crucified with Him. These victim souls were close to Jesus’s heart on the cross. Jesus suffers in them as though He were them living in the world. He has said that if it were possible for Him to suffer further, He would come back and live His passion all over again. He does this through those souls. This to appease the justice of God, because of His Holiness and Divinity; His anger and hatred of our sin.

He is angry at the sins, not at us. He hates sin, but is moved with compassion at sinners. So our sins make Him both angry and sad at the same time. He knows full well the cost of sin and what it does to the world – the state it leaves it in.

He is the Man of Sorrows. The Son of Suffering. The Sword of Justice and Righteousness. The Almighty One.