Look at opportunities to contend with humiliations  and persecutions as a chance to show mercy.

He leads some by still waters and green pastures, and others through massive storms and rainbows. There is an ever-present beauty in either.

Sometimes an action done in hate, or that lacks love, is as bad as the worst of sins. An action done in hate is like the action of a murderer.

To meditate on the passion of the Lord , and to hide in His wounds – it is available to anyone, even the worst of the worst.

It is weird that the sensation of the higher life force feels like a dream, when you would think only darkness would give that sensation. Like a bright dream. I guess this is a foreshadow of resting in the Lord, possibly?

I send all my shame and guilt into the wounds of Jesus, especially the spear wound of His heart, and they are destroyed. I am made clean in His sacrifice.

Love is not a feeling. It is a sacrificial offering. It is reciprocity. It is an act of the will, despite feelings.

Eventually, you reach a point in your own awareness of sins and meanness that you no longer want to be saved by Jesus for your own sake. When you come to a degree of awareness of God’s goodness and that He isn’t the God you deserve Him to be, on the contrary He is good and perfect, you want to be saved for His sake because you know that He wants you. That He deserves you because He deserves to get what He wants. You begin to love self only because of God – that He does.

You don’t always see with your eyes nor hear with your ears the qualities of God’s mercy in every one of His actions. Even His justice is made subject, in a way, to His mercy. Those moments where it really counts, you can’t judge with your senses. It is only discernible through His Spirit and to whom He grants. So the only thing you can do is turn to Him and surrender.

Dwelling on the wounds of Jesus and hiding in the wound of His heart has miraculous and great healing powers. Though not always in physical manifestation, this healing power restores the soul and unites you closer to God. With a firm faith, if it be the Lord’s will to grant it physically, it is capable of healing any wound, no matter how severe, and even restoring life to the dying or dead.

There are three other things that come to mind that bring grace and healing: The first is, even in suffering, surrendering to His will. The second is, when we bless others who are receptive to the grace of God. The third is repentance but especially perfect contrition.

All of these grant healing in various degrees, though not always as a physical manifestation of healing.

People, in the giving of Christ the Beatitudes don’t fully understand how powerful Christ’s blessing of those people is. If our own blessing has such power, how much more-so the blessing of Christ. His blessings have true authority and power behind them, the source of all blessings.

I remember laying in bed at night and asking God to let everything bad that would happen to everyone else, happen to me instead.

I laid in bed in misery for I don’t know how long most nights. I think this was Jesus allowing me to make reparations for others. That period lasted years, until I was a teenager, maybe a little longer. I was worrying about every tiny thing I did and said that I believed was wrong, even though the majority of it wasn’t wrong.

This is why you never give up: in an instant through Christ, the dead can be brought back to life. In an instant what has been broken or destroyed can be repaired and healed. In an instant, what has been made low can be lifted up. All through the power of Christ.

Christ is constantly on the lookout for souls who will suffer and still say “Your will be done, not mine.” He is looking for people who will willingly suffer with Him, just as He suffered for us.

If the road leads to Him, then I am willing to walk it. Though at times it feels more like a crawl not walk.

If you really want to get to know someone, see how they treat their enemies. Someone who loves even their enemies is trustworthy in love.

The narrow path is complete denial of self. A path of self-will leads to destruction. For Jesus this narrow path was self-acceptance, since His ways are perfect and lead to life. You alone cannot walk the narrow path, except by complete denial of self.

Saying “Your will be done” is an act of obedience, especially saying it despite desires of self.

When I was laying there in pain for three days, I felt as though my body was literally Jesus. If felt like I became the person of Jesus.

It is incredible to me how fast suffering humbles the soul.

It is wise for someone who can barely carry their own load, not to say they will carry other people’s loads. This in mortification or reparations. When this does happen, it can lead to bad and sometime sinful directions.

You never can tell how long the dark night will last. I think it has been almost eighteen years for me – and I don’t know when it will end.

Living, suffering, dying… these things are all but certain in our walk with Jesus. The important thing is that we do it WITH Him. There is no reason to fear any of those things. The Lord provides strength and grace to get through them.

Let the current times in the fallen world – away from God – be a lesson that we need Him. How would we ever know otherwise?

God, let my living purgatory and crushing darkness be united to your Son’s suffering. Do  with it as you please. I can willingly endure that much for you.

Anyone who can completely control their anger can’t be ruled by emotion. Anger is the hardest emotion to control and it is also the most destructive. You can be silent in a little sadness, fear, happiness, etc, but even a little anger gets someone to act out of character fast.

When the devil knows he can’t beat you on merit of morality, he will try to get you to act out of character.

I was dreaming a lot of spiritual dreams last night, and I woke up feeling like I had gotten the best sleep in a long time. I can’t remember any of the dreams now though.

I desire that every soul comes to a greater degree of holiness than me, provided I can still be as holy as I should be.

When evil or wicked thoughts jump to your lips or circle in your head during prayer, let the moment pass without acknowledging them. It is understandable that the devil is so active in our prayer lives as our enemy – trying to intervene and ruin intentions, or distract us from praying. There are times for year long periods, where religious people give up on prayer, because the devil convinces them God can’t hear them or that prayer is powerless. Persistence is key in prayer life.

If you are going to speak every word in the tongues of men and angels, make sure you say the following very last, as it is maybe the least permissible thing you could ever say:

“Leave me, Jesus.”

If such a thing were ever arranged so that no other prayers could get through to God – the following will always reach Him: “Your will be done.” There is never a place too dark, never a place too low, you can never fall to far out of grace or be too sinful, where this prayer will not be heard.

The Lord Jesus is the God of gods, Lord of lords, and King of kings.